Daring to sing along...

I've been listening to Third Day's "Take it all" and daring to sing along...simply because I have often found it hard to sing along to something that I felt in some way I could not relate to.
Often times, I feel that if I have not strived to live a certain way, then there are songs that I should not "hyprocritally" sing along to...even dance to (and believe it or not, I am far from being much of a dancer - but, I am learning ;))
Anyhow, the song - Take it all is one of surrender and for me, right now, I happen to be in a space of desire - an immense desire to fully surrender, even though I may not know how to.

Let me write type out the lyrics for you:

All the promises I've broken
All the times I've let you down
You've forgot them but still I hold on
To the pain that makes me drown
Now I am ready to let it go, to give it away

All the roads that lie before me
All the struggles I go through
Ev'ry second I'm reminded
That it all belongs to You
Now I'm ready to let it go, to give it away

Take it all 'cause I can't take it any longer
All I have I can't make it on my own
Take the first, take the last, take the good and take the rest
Here I am all I have take it all...

And so the song goes...causing a brokennes to occur in my heart, and not knowing what to do with my brokenness within, I allow myself to cry.
How do I begin to understand this deep need to surrender when I am presently breaking promises I made to Him? To His people? To myself? but again, promises I made to Him? While I could be singing along to take it all, that annoying voice reminds me that I am still breaking promises I made yesterday...threatening me with the sure possibility of promises I am going to make tonight but will break before the break of dawn...how do I reconcile that with the desire to surrender?

Anyhow, I have since (this is like a few hours ago) decided that I will sing along anyway, allow to be ministered to and allow my heart to commune with God on a spiritual level while also committing the present moment to Him - because He knows the end from the beginning. I shall not be deterred - because Jesus is with me, especially when I have no faith in my ability to stand firm in this faith (which is always) because His grace alone can do the job.

And so, I am left with one more thing - to sing along loudly my absolute surrender, right now, right here - saying "Ever since I died to myself, You gace a better life to me; I give you my finest moment, I give You the last breath I breathe" -
Because after all is said and done - Who Jesus is to and in me, counts for far more than my failures ever could or would dare!

Live fully, in His freedom.
:) xxooxx :)